My camel only holds 2 people
by Completely Dipendente
Summary: Please read the authors note so you know whats going on. Jools and Rollo have a cool surprise planned for the ace gang and their boy type fandangos...Review if you love me or if you don't . x
1. Authors note to you lovely loons

Authors note:

Authors note:

I thought I'd let you know what's going on with this story.

I rushed my last story and it turned out quite…rubbish!

I'm doing this one in little baby steps so it's perfect.

I'm going to find a Beta reader too so that should help.

This one isn't set after any book it just kinda slots in!

The ace gang are 17 by the way.

It's all about a surprise that Jools and Rollo have organized for the gang and there boy type fandangos.

The first chapter and a half is just an average Georgia story so hang on in there to find out what the surprise is.

Please keep checking what is going on and even though I'm going slowly with this one it will be a new chapter every couple of days.

I'm going on holiday for a week starting on the 12th August, so don't expect updates while I'm on holiday.

Ok so I've babbled on for ages now. Please don't sue me for wasting your time. Love you all muchly.

**Emily x**


	2. I smell Manly

Wednesday June 22nd

**Disclaimer: I'm not clever enough to come up with marvy characters like these but the plot is mine, all mine!**

**Monday June 22****nd**

9:22 am

At work.

So I'm here in the boots in town with Rosie. First day of a new job. We are crafty little things. If we work in boots, we get a discount. Everything is solved vis-a-vis makeup from now on.

Vati has decided that "it's about time I found myself a job.", so I have. Ha-di-ha Vati stick that in your pipe and smoke it. Not that he has a pipe. And he only ever smokes at Christmas. Oh rave on.

10:01

I don't know what everyone is on about hating their jobs! This is magnifique. I get to put on all the testers when no one is looking. Talk to my (slightly crazy) friend and generally do not a lot. All I have to do is stand here and when someone walks past I have to say

'Are you ok? Do you need any help?' and smile like an axe-murderer. Most people say no anyway so it's easy-peasy.

Roro is not so impressed though. They told her she couldn't wear her beard. She had tears in her eyes and she even kissed it when she put it back in her bag. I do feel sorry for her sometimes.

12:32

Lunch break

As we have a full hour for lunch we thought we would go and see Jazzy Spazzy at Jennings. She must be bored of her job by now. She's only been working there 18 whole months!

'Oh god what are you two doing here?'

'Jas oh bestest pal. How nice to see you too!'

'Rosie can you take your beard off please I don't want it near the fruit. It has been involved in yours and Sven's food snogging adventures and isn't very hygienic.'

'Jas _mon petite ami, _where the beard goes, I go.'

'Get out then.'

'Okay doke. See you back at work Gee. Oh and Jas, The beard is watching you.' And she did that crap thing where you put your fingers to your eyes then point them at someone. Only she put her fingers to her beard.

'I would be very scared if I were you Jas.' I helped myself to an apple.

'Georgia that will be 72 pence please.'

'I owe you 72p Jas. Byeeeeee!' and I walked off to find Rosie.

10 minutes later

I'd been walking round trying to find Rosie for ages!

'Kittykat. She's here.' I looked round and saw Dave and Rosie walking towards me.

'Come on you 2 lets get chips' Dave said

5 Minutes later

Eating chips with Dave and Rosie

'So how's life at Boots you two?'

'It's ok. Have you found yourself a job yet?' I said

'Nah there's no call for horn-meisters anywhere.' Dave shrugged

'Dave they won't let me wear my beard at work…'

'Ah Roro you poor thing' and he cuddled her close. It made me feel a bit funny actually. He must of noticed because next thing I knew I was part of a group hug with Rosie and Dave. I had my head under Rosie's armpit and someone's hand on my bum. I highly doubt that it was Roro's hand.

1:30 pm

Back at work

Mutti came to check up on me. I nearly died of embarrassment but I thought I would show her my skills. Oo-er.

'Hello stranger who I don't know. Can I help you?' and I gave her my prize-winning smile.

'Gee don't smile like that, it's scary. Oh and do you have any sanitary wear?' I nearly died showing my mum to the "Sanitary wear". Rosie was nearly going to the piddly-diddly department on the floor!

2:45 pm

I think half of my family has been in here to check on me today. Mutti, Vati, Uncle Eddie, Cousin James…

None of them really wanted to buy anything. Nosey parkers they are. The lot of them.

2:50

Our Boss lady said we could finish 10 minutes early today "for working so hard".

Hard? It's been a doddle!

3:05

Back home

I'm a bit tired actually. I think I might just sit on the sofa and…

2 Seconds later

No, ok, I'll go answer the phone.

'Hello?'

'Gee it's Jas. Just to remind you that you owe me 72p.' Good Lord!

'Is that all Jas?' I said

'Well Ermmm…I guess so yeah' I could hear her sucking her pen, trying to think of somthing else to say.

'Bye then Jas.'

'Bye'

That showed her! 72p. I mean you'd have thought it was £72 the way Jas is going on!

4:31 pm

Jools has just done a ring round of the gang to see if we're going sunbathing in the park. It's boiling today! I think I will go and get changed so I am ready as a …beaver. You never see Beavers panicking that they haven't done…whatever Beavers do, do you? They are always ready.

4:52

In the park

This is the life. Sunbathing, eating ice-cream, not a care in the world. I could get used to this.

2 Minutes later

No, I couldn't. Dave and his posse are here. They are so loud! What are they chanting? Nunga-Nungas of course. Who doesn't?

2 Seconds later

We are all lay in a line, us girls and Dave thought it would be rally funny to lie across us.

1 Second later

It's not. He is rather heavy and I somehow seem to have got his head on my leg. He is grinning like a loon.

'Why can't you just say "hi" like a normal person Dave?'

'Because that's no fun at all Kittykat. Kisses!' and he gave us all a big theatrical kiss on each cheek.

'Are you on the turn Dave?' Jools asked him.

'How could someone who loves girls as much as me be on the turn Jools? Though your Rollo is looking mighty fine today…' We all just stared at him. What do you say to that?

10 Minutes later

This is more like it. The boys have stopped bugging us and have gone to play footy. The only problem is there is a big cloud covering the sun. Shoo cloud Shoo. This is great, just as we managed to get rid of the boys (apart from Sven who is attached to Rosie) the sun goes in. Just my luck.

5 Minutes later

Sunbathing is no fun with no sun to bathe in! It's only 5:10 though and I told Mutti I'd be back at 8ish. I must prove my maturity by staying out late before work.

20 Seconds later

God this is boring!

2 Minutes later

Walking home with Dave

Dave went to put his arm around me.

'Ewww Dave you're all smelly get off'

'Kittykat I am not smelly! I smell manly'

'You smell sweaty now get off' I said and I shoved him away again.

'No I don't-here, smell.' Dave put his armpit over my head. He didn't smell sweaty actually he smelt really nice but I couldn't tell him that.

'Dave! Stop or I'll pass out. You stink!'

'Don't lie to me Kittykat. You think I smell nice. I know when you're lying.' Oh freaky-deaky.

'Dave this is your street. Now get your bloody armpit of my head!'

Then he snogged me…

**Review if you want more because i'm not carrying on until i have 3 reviews! Haha sneaky aren't i? This isn't even the good bit yet. Georgia is a single pringle in this story by the way.**


	3. Some beyond brillopads news

5:21 pm

5:21 pm

Still Snogging Dave

I don't have to feel guilty. Me and Dave are both single and untrothed. No I'm not going into that troth business again! He is such a marvy snogger with his nip libbleing. He still makes me go jelloid even though we have been accidental snogging for years. Come to think of it, Dave has always been my favorite snogger. I should give him a medal or a certificate or maybe a prize…Shut up brain. I don't need your stupid opinion right now!

3:49

Dave is neck nuzzling. I moaned. Where did that come from? I didn't mean to make that noise. Dave smiled at me.

'Enjoying that were you Sex Kitty?' I blushed. He is rather fit looking. That crinkly smile is rather sexy. Then as if he was reading my mind he smiled.

'Phwoar Gee. That was some snog.'

'Shame you stopped…' No mouth no. Stop saying things I don't want you to. I need to learn to keep my bits and pieces under control. Oo-er. I blushed again.

'You are so cute when you're embarrassed Kittykat. Now then…' and he carried on kissing me. He pushed me up against a fence and started really kissing me. It took all my power not to make that moany noise again.

Then the fence fell down.

2 Seconds later

We were lay on the grass in someone's garden with Dave on top of me. Some little kids were playing in there and a couple was sat on a bench at the top of the garden. Everyone went silent. I could feel their eyes staring at us. Stop staring you loons!

1 Second later

Me and Dave scrambled up then ran like the wind back to the park. The gang were still shade bathing. Oh god here comes the 20 questions.

'Where did you go?' Jas Said

'You've been ages what happened?' Rollo said

'Snogging I bet' Dec said, winking

'Typical. Why were you running back?' Jas said. Charming!

'Yeah…ermm…why were…you ummm…like….?' This century Ellen...

Thought so. I just gave them all a smile and said in a dignity at all times way

'Glad you missed us' it obviously didn't satisfy them though. They wanted answers. Luckily (or unluckily) for me, Dave had a story.

'We've just had some hot sex in that bush up there, It was great fun wasn't it Gee?' They were all staring at us. I thought Jas would choke and die or something. No such luck.

'No, we were leaning against a fence and it fell down. We ended up in someone's garden' I skipped out the fact that we were snogging.

7:24 pm

Home again

Back home to be greeted by screaming and banging. Nothing like a relaxing night at home.

2 Minutes later

It turns out Angus and Gordy have brought a mouse in. Only this time it's still alive. It's in the kitchen and Mutti is refusing to get her and Libby down from the kitchen table until Vati catches it. Libby is laughing like a loon and singing.

'Mousey Mousey heggo mousey cheese for the little mousey' It's sung to the tune of Baa Baa Black Sheep. Only as Libby was singing it, it was horribly out of tune.

14 Minutes later

Vati has just caught the mouse. Only it died of fright so Libby is crying because "big bad Uggy killed Mousey". On the bright side, it was very funny seeing my Vati, not the most graceful of people, darting round the kitchen like a loon on loon tablets to catch a little mouse with Mutti screaming and Libby laughing. Who needs T.V?

**Thursday June 25****th**

8:43am

Jools just rang to say we all have to be at her house in our lunch breaks because she has "some beyond brillopads news" lets pray to god she's not getting married with Rosie, Sven, Jas and Tom.

12:20

Sat on Jools' bed.

'Right guys I hope you are all sitting comfortably'

'Not really Jools. Ten people all sat on a single bed is not comfy'

'Jas shut up, yeah anyway what I was going to say was, you are all invited to spend a week at Rollo's Vati's new flat…In Paris!!' We all sat there stunned like ten stunned stunned things. Then someone started clapping, and soon we were all whooping and cheering. I'll tell Mutti tonight. Then I'll ask at work when I get back now. Oh god, work. I can't be bothered any more.

1:01

Back at work

It's so boring here. Nothing exciting ever happens. Rosie has asked boss woman for time off from Monday to Friday. We get back Sunday night. She said it was ok but as we have only just started she will take it off our wages. What a bummer! I was looking forward to that nice big pay cheque. Even though I get cash…but still.

5:21

Mutti has made dinner! I know amazing isn't it. This is very good for softening her up though.

'Why Mutti, what a glorious, nutritious meal you have lovingly prepared for us. How thoughtful of you!'

'Georgia I'm not in the mood for your sarcasm' Mutti Said. Shes so Suspicious!

'Mutti, how could you think that of me?' And i gave her one of my most innocent "I love you smiles"

'Gee, what do you want?' She said

'To go to Paris with Rollo's Vati'

'Who's Rollo then?'

'Jools' Boyfriend' I said

'Hmmm…and his dad will be there?'

'Yes of course'

'I don't see why not then'

'Yesss! Thanks Mutti. _Je t'aime!' _Ok so I told a little white lie. There will be no adults just us crazy bunch but…I'm going to Paris!!

7:51

All the gang are going! This is going to be soooooooooo good! I'd better start packing. Were going on Monday. We have got a system though. Jas is bringing hair stuff. I'm on makeup duties. Jools is bringing shoes, and Mabs is bringing handbags. We wouldn't trust Ellen or Rosie with anything. Ellen because she is so divvy and would not bring something "because she…ermm…well…what if…you know…when" and Rosie because no one shares her "unique" style.

2 Seconds later

Dave offered to bring makeup. I like to think he is joking. That is what I like to think.

9 Minutes later

I've just thought, it's my last day at work tomorrow before Paris! Oooh it's all so exciting!

8:45 pm

The only drawback is, we have to be at the airport on Monday at 4am. I didn't no such a time even existed.

**Short chappie I know but the next one will be longer I promise. Keep reviewing! Love you all x**


	4. For the love of pajamas

Monday 29th June

**Monday 29****th**** June**

3:21 pm

We're all in the minibus going to the airport. The driver is a very grumpy old man who obviously isn't a morning person. Mind you neither are we…The only person making any sense this early in a morning is Jas. She is ludicrously happy. I might have to drug her up or something because it's going to be a very long week if she keeps acting like this! I'm sat next to Dave, he managed to grunt as he got on the coach but that is it. It's only me, Dave, Jas and Tom still awake. Everyone else has fallen asleep. Sven looks quite cute when he is quiet actually.

2 Minutes later

'Hey kittykat, you tired?' Dave said

'Dave, tired doesn't even come in to it…' I said

'Awww you can sleep with me if you want Gee' He said

'Oo-er Dave I'll pass!'

'Cheeky minx you know what I meant!' He patted his shoulder like a pillow. It would be rude not to take him up on his offer.

1 Second later

Don't be rudey-dudey you know what I mean.

3:52

At the airport

'Wake up, come on guys we're at the airport' It turns out everyone fell asleep, even Jas. The minibus driver was waking us all up, shaking us and shouting.

We didn't appreciate being woken; Sven bit the driver's hand.

'Bloody hell that hurt. Get the hell out of my minibus, NOW!'

20 Minutes later

We have been in this bloody queue waiting to check in for about 10 minutes and have taken about 2 steps. And I'm starving! I think I have a packet of cheesy puffs in my bag.

4 Seconds later

Got them! Ummm food.

'Can I have one, Gee?' Jools said

'Yeah just one though I'm starving' I said

'Kittykat, can I have one?' Dave asked

'Ermm…can…if I…you know…?' Ellen Stammered

'Oooh cheesy puffs. Can I steal one Geegee?' Jas said

1 Minute later

Those vultures have stolen my cheesy puffs. I only had 2!

37 Minutes later

We've finally got out of that queue. Free now to explore the airport before out flight. Shopping time. We've split into teams so that we don't get lost. Me, Dave, Rosie and Sven are in a team. Jas, Tom, Jools, Rollo, Mabs, Edward, Ellen and Dec are all in a team. Me and Dave are stuck with the mad bearded two. I think I'd rather go round with the vole couple!

1 Second later

No forget that Rosie and Sven are fine.

20 Minutes later

I've bought everyone's presents already so I can concentrate on shopping for me when we get to Paris. I got Libby a little frog teddy (froggyland-frog teehee) and Mutti and Vati a key ring that says "I went on holiday".

'Oh very original Gee' Rosie said.

'Rosie shut up. It's not like they will actually use it, and anyway it's the though that counts'

'Ok, ok. Fair enough'

'So kittykat you looking forward to this holiday?' Dave said

'No Dave you are coming, therefore it will be crap' I lied

'Harsh Kittykat. I think you should snog me to help heal the pain' and he put his bottom lip out like a baby. He is such a laugh. That is probably why I am snogging him again.

10 Minutes later

Oooh he does make me jelloid. Don't make any noises Georgia. And don't lean against any fences. Not that there are any fences in an airport, but there might be a…Georgia, Shut up.

5:06 am

On the plane

This is so cool! My first holiday without Mutti and Vati. Apart from the trips with school but they don't count.

The only drawback is Dave. He is terrified of flying and has only come because his so called friends have bullied him into it. We haven't even gone anywhere yet and he has hold of my hand so tightly I can't feel my fingers.

'Dave just think of it as us going away laughing on your fast camel…'

'Gee my camel only has room for 2 people. That's me and you. Look at all these bloody people!' Ok that didn't work.

'Come on Dave what is really the worst that can happen?'

'We could crash, over the sea and…Oh god Gee I want to get off!'

'No, no, no come on Dave. Don't be silly. Sit back down. Dave, SIT DOWN!!'

5:29 am

In the air

I managed to calm Dave down. Well actually the "fit looking trolley dolly" as Dave so lovingly put it, kept him on this plane. She held his hand with me as we took off. I felt a bit funny actually. I'm not sure why. It's not like we're official snogging partners. I do kinda wish we were though.

1 Second later

Do I really?

1 Minute later

Yeah I guess I do…

5 Minutes later

Ok let's pretend I never said that. I mean it's true and all but I'd rather not tell him. I'd only end up embarrassed like I do with most the boys I like. No not like…Love.

1 Second later

Yeah forget that as well.

7:46

Coming in to land

Dave is off again.

'It's going straight for the ground Gee!'

'Yes Dave, It's meant to'

'No it's going to hit the ground head first and we'll all die' Oh for the love of pajamas!

'Dave it's just fine. Everything is perfect'

'It wobbled. Gee why is it shaking? Oh my god!' I grabbed him by his shoulders and shook him.

'Dave, get a grip. We are not; I repeat not, going to die. Now calm the bloody hell down!'

'Sorry Gee. I just hate flying. It scares the living shit out of me'

'I never would have guessed. Ok, just relax now.'

'Yeah sorry, of course, sorry. Sorry I really am, I mean…Gee it just wobbled again!'

'DAVE!'

'Yeah sorry. Sorry…'

'Are you sorry Dave?'

'Yeah very. I'm sorry. Really sorry.' I give up! If this is a clue as to how this holiday is going to go, then turn this plane right back around now.

8:21 am

At Paris airport

It's so nice to be on French soil. It feels like home. Only more French. I told Dave. He is so much more…Dave the laughy now we are on the ground.

'I love France. It's like home'

'Kittykat, it's full of French people?' I just rolled my eyes at him and went to talk to Jas.

'Hey Jas.' She was fiddling with her fringe as usual.

'Oh Gee it's you' Jas said. I give up arguing with her and her pathetic reaction to me making the effort to come and see her like the bestest pal I am.

'Yep. It's cool here isn't it?'

'It's an airport Georgia it's not exciting.'

'Oh I don't know Jas, it has a certain charm to it and I…' But she had already walked off to reattach herself to Tom. Is he not sick of her yet? I know I am.

**So there won't be another chapter for a week or so. I go on holiday at 9:30pm tonight and its 3.30pm now. That's how much I love you all. The least you can do is review for me please. Lots of love xx**


	5. Kittykat, Have some faith

**Sorry it's taken me so long to update but anyway. Here you go…**

9 am  
Waiting Outside the airport

Rollo was meant to order us a taxi. We've been waiting for about half an hour for the bloody thing. I'm starting to think he forgot to order it.

'Rollo, babe,' Jools said. "Are you sure you ordered a taxi from Paris airport?'

'I'm not stupid, Jools! How is it my fault it's late? You can't blame me this time.'

Jools tried to calm him down. I think he's a bit on the loon side. He should take anger management. He could go with my Vati…

'Look, calm down. It's O.K, we'll just get into one of these taxis and…'

'Or I could drive,' Dave chipped in. Since when could Dave drive? He was doing that freaky mind-reading thing again because he said 'My Vati has been giving me lessons. I've not passed my test yet but I reckon that we could get a car.' I'm not sure whether I want to get in a car with Dave driving. Neither did Jas.

'Dave, that isn't very responsible. You can't drive and I'm not getting in a car with you at the wheel.' She was fringe-fiddling and going red/pink/white all at the same time. It was vair _amusant_ to watch.

'Well, Jas it seems you're walking then because Rosie is already getting me a car.' And he turned towards Rosie who was at the car rental desk pointing and shrugging. Ah, just like the good old days. This is a well known French tradition. The pointy, shruggy one. Me and Jas were on the end of a pointy shruggy outburst when we were being hunchbacks.

9:21 am

After what seemed like hours of "gentle persuasion" we managed to get Jas in the car with us. When I say gentle persuasion I really mean Sven carried her kicking and screaming. Dave got in the driver's seat and said 'Right O.K, then here we goe…' and turned the key.

1 Minute Later

We set off going down the road at a steady pace. The only _mouche _in the ointment was we didn't know where we were going.

'Ermm…turn left…NOW!' Rollo shouted and Dave swerved the car violently to the left.

'I need a little bit more warning next time please Rollo' Dave said. Jas looked a bit green on top of her red/pink/white. But she had surprisingly found something to suck. Oo-er.

10 Minutes Later

'Dave we've passed that building about 10 times.'

'Kittykat, have some faith. would I get us lost?'

'Ermm…yes.'

'O.K, fair enough. It's not my fault anyway, it's that Banana who's directing me.' And he pointed at Rollo who was snogging Jools. 'How am I meant to know where to go when he's snogging Jools!' Dave shouted to try and get Rollo's attention. Rollo just gave him the finger from behind Jools head.

'Why don't we pull over and ask someone?' I suggested. It is truly my geniosity that has gotten me this far.

'Kittykat, French is like a foreign language to me.' Dave said. He's really creeping me out with this mind reading thing. I always say French is a foreign language. I must ask him.

'Dave have you got the third eye or something?'

'A third eye? Not last time I checked, no. Why?'

'Because you keep reading my mind.'

'Do you mean the sixth Sense?'

'Yeah. That's what I said.' He is a good thing he is a laugh. He definitely does not score high in the geniosity category, unlike _moi._

'O.K. And no, Sex Kitty. My sixth sense is not mind-reading, its nip libbling.' He gave me a cheeky smile. Blimey O'Reilly!

'Dave! How the hell did you know about that?!'

'Jas told Tom who told me. Did you really go to the doctor with sticky out elbows?'

'She's dead meat. Deader in fact!'

5 Minutes Later

I'm i_gnore-vousing_ Jas now.

She asked me if I had any Midget Gems left and I just ignored her. Ha-ha. She who laughs last…laughs…oh forget it!

40 Minutes Later

We're finally here! Rollo rang his Dad who gave directions over the phone. Why he didn't do that an hour ago I don't know. Boys, as I have said before, are a total mystery.

10 Minutes later

We're here. In Rollo's Vati's Flat. It's tiny! I'm not being ungrateful or anything but there is one bedroom, a bathroom and a little kitchen. One Bedroom. For Ten people.

'Jools ermm…there is…one…ermm…you know…' Ellen said

'One bedroom? Yeah, sorry I forgot to tell you we're all sharing. Me and Rollo are having the bed…'

'Oo-er,' Rosie chipped in.

'There is nothing rudey-dudey about it Rosie. Where was I? Oh yeah and the rest of you will have to sleep on the floor. Sorry.' Jools said. I went to tell Dave who was in the kitchen having a whisk fight with himself.

'Dave, everyone will be snogging and…God knows what… and we will be like two spare wotsits.'

'Well, Kittykat,' Dave said. 'If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. That's my motto.'

'Dave are you suggesting we…' Then he snogged me. Again!! In front of everyone!!

2 Minutes Later

'Phwoar, kittykat. That was top-notch.'

'Dave everyone could have seen us!'

'But they didn't. So stop your flappin' and…' And I snogged him. Ha-ha Mr.Laughy laugh. I'm playing you at your own game!!

1 Minute later

'Gee, you little Minx!' Dave winked.

I could feel myself going beetroot. Dave was as cool as _le cucumber_ though.

'Don't panic, Kittykat. No one saw us. Now let's go bag a good spot on the floor,' he said, and he walked off towards the bedroom.

10 Minutes later

We have worked out a system for tonight. Every time we spot someone snogging, we have to shout there names to make them stop. Genius(ish). If that doesn't work I don't know what we'll do but I don't think anyone has thought that far ahead yet.

5 Minutes later

I'm starving! There are two sausages and half a mouldy loaf of bread to eat. It's nearly as bad as home! Only nearly though.

'Who's cooking dinner tonight?' I asked Tom.

'Sven offered…'

'Oh God. I'd rather not. Can we not go out?'

'I guess so.' I started to walk off but Tom shouted after me… 'Oh and Gee. Why are you ignoring Jas, she doesn't know what she's done wrong?'

'Well Tom, as a great man once said. A nod is as good as a wink to a blind badger.' Ha-ha that will keep him guessing.

'Georgia, what the hell are you on about?!' I had to admit he had me there.

'Tom, I am far too hungry to answer such strange questions. Will you please find out what we are eating this month?' He walked off. Good. Serves him right for having Radio Jas as a girlfriend.

**Another short-ish chappie and a bit of a boring one, but it all gets better from here on in… Keep Reviewing if you want more. Loveeeee Youuuuuuuuu Alllllllll xx**

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	6. The pants of strength are not on my side

**I have about ten tons of German coursework to do but I can't be bothered so I have carried on with this instead. Not very responsible but I give up caring now. Anyway on with the story…**

5 Minutes later

Rosie seems to think it would be more fair to vote for who gets the bed.

'Do you mean in a fair and democratic way?' Jas asked her.

Rosie looked at her like she had a poo as a head and said, 'No, Jas. We shall arm-wrestle.' We all groaned.

Dec said, 'Shall we just cut out the bit where we all arm wrestle Sven and Sven wins and just give you and the big Beast the bed?' Oo-er…

Rosie considered. 'I don't know what you're on about Dec. Now, come on guys. Arm-wrestling time!' Our Lord Sandra, save me now.

10 Minutes later

We have been split off into couples so that the boys can fight for us, though I have a feeling that Rosie could take on any one of the boys and win hands down. Literally. I have been partnered with Dave.

'Why am I with Dave…?' I whined

Dave said, 'Don't moan Kittykat, I know you love me really.' He's so full of himself!!

'Yeah,' said Rollo. 'We've all seen you snogging for Billy Shakespeare land. If you win, I would be surprised if that is the first time you've shared a bed.'I went beetroot. Dave just laughed.

'Well there was the other day wasn't there Gee? Now that was fun!' Everyone stared at him.

'He's…ermm…no it's…not…no.' Oh great I'd turned into Ellen. Speaking of Ellen I'm mighty pleased she's not still drooling after Dave. Otherwise it could have been fistcuffs at dawn. She's got Dec to dribble over now. What is it with her and boys whose names begin with D?!

Yes. So where was I before I rudely interrupted myself?…Ah yes, Arm wrestling.

It was Dave vs. Rollo first. It was a close one but Dave won. He's quite strong actually. It kinda gives me the horn…No must resist the laughing one.

Dave vs. Dec. And he wins again! Go, Dave, go!

Dave vs. Tom. Can he make it a scarftrick? No, that's not right is it? Ah well. It's some sort of trick anyway. Yes! The newt man is no match for the mighty laugh. Dave turned to me, smiled and winked. Ooh, jelloid knickers. (I know! Dave made me jelloid!) Sven sat down. If Dave could beat Sven the bed was ours.

30 Seconds later

I don't know why I even got my hopes up. It took Sven about a second to beat Dave.

'Sorry, Kittykat! It seems the pants of strength are not on my side when it comes to the Svenonator.' What the hell is he on about?! I just nodded and smiled like someone that had a clue what he was on about.

1:27 pm  
Food Shopping with Dave, Jas and Tom

Everyone else is back at the flat sorting out "sleeping arrangements". I am soooooooooo bored!! Jas apologized but I only forgave her when she said she'd buy me a packet of jammy dodgers. Tom and Jas are so close it's pathetic. She keeps saying soppy stuff like 'Oh Hunky, you're so right.' He only suggested we buy some apples for goodness sake!!

I said to Dave, 'Po hangs off Hunky's every bloody word. It's making me feel quite queasy.'

'Po and Hunky?' Dave asked.

'Yeah, that's their nicknames for each other. Did you not know?'

'I do now. That is classic. Hunky and Po...' Hewent off laughing to himself.

He is acting like a little kid. He keeps picking up sweets and chocolate and putting it in Jas' basket when she turns away, then when she notices saying "Sorry, _PO,_ how did that get in there? I wonder if _HUNKY_ did it." Then nearly going to the piddly diddly department on the floor. She has already lost her rag with him twice and we've only been here for 10 minutes. He's lucky; when she looses her rag with me it usually ends with me in Aggers. She wouldn't dare hurt one of Hunky's friends though.

5 Minutes later

We have come to the decision that frozen pizzas and micro-wave chips are fine for the first night. Why it took us 20 minutes to decide that I don't know.

1 Second later

Actually I do know. Dave. He is so irritating. Me and Tom found it quite funny. Jas just found it irritating. She has no sense of humor.

2 Seconds later

Maybe that's a bit harsh. She may be an utter fringey annoyance but she is my bestie. I think I'll tell her.

'Jas?'

'Hmm?'

'You know I love you and you are my bestie don't you?'

'Gee don't start the love thing again.' She waltzed off again. Charming!

5 Minutes Later  
Back at the flat

It looks like an explosion of duvets and pillows in the bedroom. It doesn't seem very well organized either as there is only 4 pillows and duvets on the floor. That means we must be sharing…

If Ellen is sharing with Dec...

...and Jools is sharing with Rollo...

...Jas and Tom will be sharing...

...Rosie and Sven have got the bed…

That only leaves me and Dave. Again.

What is it with my so-called friends? I mean I did admit to myself that I love him on the plane but how do they know that?!And anyway, I was choosing to forget that.

Poo, I'm thinking about it again.

10 Minutes Later

I've made a decision. I will share with Dave tonight and tell him that I think I like him. No, not like him. More _like him_ like him. Like, you know. In a specific Horn way. Oh shut up brain, Shut up!

2 Minutes later

I'll take the bull by the wotsit (Oo-er) and tell him. I'll say "Dave, I think…"

1 Second later

He did it again. He's ear wigging into my brain. Just as I thought about him he strolls over and pushes me onto the pile of pillows that Rosie stacked up. Don't ask why. I'm sure Rosie will be the last to know. So now I'm here surrounded by pillows with Dave laughing at me because my skirt is up round my ears.

'I know you want to snog me and all Gee, but there are more subtle ways of showing it.' He's so annoying!!

'Dave, help me up before I have to kill you.'

He said 'Kittykat, if you're laying down there you can't kill me, so it's a win-win situation for me.' Damn!

'Ah, but you see, Mr. Laugh, I could do this…' I grabbed his leg so that he fell over. Genius! Apart from the fact that he landed with his head on my nungas.

'Now hang on a second Gee...' He grinned and rolled over so he was lying next to me.

Go on, Georgia, now's your chance! Tell him how you feel! 'Dave, I just wanted to tell you…'

'Why are you two lying here surrounded by pillows?' Jas shouted, with classic poo timing. Everyone turned to look at me and Dave lying rather close to each other, his head still resting on my Nunga-Nunga's, with me glowing red and Dave laughing so hard I thought I would have to do the Heimlich manoeuvre on him. They should call him Dave the Laughing-so-hard-he's-choking-to-death. It suits him at the moment. O.K, this looks a bit suspicious. Say something normal. For the first time in your life Georgia, say something normal!

'Me and Dave were just talking about the footie scores…'

Perfect!

**There you go. Another chapter done and dusted. I'm really enjoying writing this at the moment. It's chaos at my house; my dog has just fallen in the pond. Then when my brother went to drag him out my other dog jumped in. My dogs are very stupid. I'm staying here so I don't get wet. **


	7. The sweet smell of burning

**I swear I'm going to kill my brother! I went to put my foundation on this morning to find he'd filled it with water, so when I put it on my hand to rub in (if you know what I mean) it went everywhere. Then on top of that he put a bucket full of ice on top of my door which my best friend opened. If you can think of any evil ways to get him back that would be great lol. Oh by the way he did this because I fed the dog his girlfriends knickers(don't ask how I got hold of them or how they got in my house in the first place because I really don't want to know). We have been at war these past few weeks. Anyway, on with the story…**

1 Second later

All eyes are on me and Dave. And I mentioned the footie scores. Why in the name of Gordy's spaggy eye do I always mention the footie scores when I'm nervous?! I don't even like football! Ever since the Masimo and Robbie fandango last year I have a habit of mentioning stupid stuff like that. I wonder what happened to Masimo. After I found out he was cheating on me with Emma, Dave's girlfriend at the time, I've not seen him around. Ah, well he's old PANTS now.

Anyway back to the matter in hand. I should probably say something normal. Or stand up. Or at least pull my bloody skirt down!

Blimey o'Reilly, I forgot about my skirt.

1 Second later

Do something Georgia; say something…Oh no, not now. I'm having an uncontrollable laughing fit. Stop. No, come on brain to mouth. Stop laughing, I repeat, stop laughing!!

Everyone is staring at me like I'm an apple, an apple that has jumped out of the fruit bowl and is rolling along the floor when a cat biffed it to the…shutupshutupshutup!

2 Seconds later

Yes! This is good, everyone is laughing with me.

1 Second later

Or are they laughing at me?

1 Second later

Oh giddy gods pajamas, they're laughing AT me.

30 Seconds later

It's all gone silent. We've all stopped laughing. Dave stood up and held his hand out to me. I grabbed it and pulled myself up.

Dave said 'Well as fun as that was guys, I'm away laughing on a fast camel. I'm going to rescue our dinner from the oven because I smell the sweet smell of burning.' We all turned towards the kitchen. Dave opened the oven door and then disappeared under a cloud of smoke. Rollo shouted something. I don't think it was "oops".

10 Minutes Later

We've decided to get a take-away for dinner. We left it to Jas to ring up because as I explained, I may well have come top in French but the word Rabbit will not get me very far when ordering pizzas.

6:00pm 

The pizzas have finally arrived!

2 Minutes later

Jas (fully certified member of the big twit club) has managed to order everything wrong. My pizza looks like it might have dog food on it but I'm not going to taste it and find out.

1 Minute later

I have managed to scrape off all the unedible bits. Or is it inedible. I don't know and what's more, I don't really care. I can't eat them and that's the short and short of it. Yeah, so anyway, where was I? Oh yes, once the bits that can't be eaten have been scraped off, this pizza is actually decent. Better than the baked beans and moss we get at home.

6:37 pm

Jas has rung home twice already. I thought she was meant to be wilderness woman. There are no phones in the wilderness. Unless the badgers have invented a badgerphone to call their friends the voles on. Brain. Shut up! When she rang home though that meant Ellen wanted to ring home. When Ellen had rang home, Jools wanted to ring home. It was like a lurgy or something! Me, Rosie and the boys decided not to. Mrs. Jas did want to speak to Tom though; he lives there more than he lives at his own house!

Dave said 'Why are you not ringing home, Kittykat?'

'I've come here to get away from my barmy lot! They were glad to get rid of me. What about you?'

'Me too,' he said. 'My mum practically shoved me out the door.'

'Do you have any little loons at your house Dave?'

'No just big loons. I'm the youngest.' It's weird thinking of Dave the Laugh as the youngest.

'Wow. You learn something new every day. How many brothers or sisters have you got?' It's nice to take an interest.

'Four. Two sisters and two brothers. Only one sister and one brother still live at home though, thank the Lord. Fingers crossed we'll get rid of another one soon.'

'Dave that's not very nice! You should love your brothers and sisters dearly.'

'Put a sock in it, Kittykat. I get that sort of WUBBISH from my Mutti.' He started talking in a high pitched voice 'David, that's not a very nice way to talk about your brother.' It sounded scarily like a Mutti type person. It made me laugh like a loon on loon tablets.

5 Minutes later

Dave is really enjoying talking like a Mutti. He keeps walking round saying stuff like "tidy that mess up".

1 Minute later

I've just had the most hilarious idea ever if I do say so myself. I grabbed Dave and took him into the bedroom.

'Not yet, Sex kitty. I'll snog you later,' He said (in his normal voice).

'Dave, shut up and listen to my brillopads idea…'

15 minutes later

Yes. Finished. I have dressed Dave up like a girl. With makeup and everything. I have borrowed Rosie's spare beard (!) for hair. He looks scarily realistic. He does walk like he's gone to the poo-parlor division in his pants though when he's wearing my high heels.

1 Second later

I'd be more worried if he could walk properly in them though…

2 Minutes later

I had to hold him up when we were walking back to show the gang. And he's not the lightest sheep in the field!

'Ta-Da!' I shouted. No one even turned around.

'She said Ta-Da!' Dave shouted. Everyone turned to look at him. How does he do that, make everyone listen to him?

'Oh. My. God. What in the name of Father Christmas happened to you?!' Rollo said.

'Ah, well, Rollo my friend, I was born on the 18th April many moons ago. I started life…'

'No, Dave you banana, I mean why the flip are you dressed like a girl?'

'Ah well, if I knew that, Rollo, I would be a very rich man.' What the PANTS is he on about?!

5 Minutes later

After the initial shock of seeing Dave like this, I like to think everyone is quite impressed. That is what I like to think.

10:41

Early to bed early to rise makes…a whatsit. Anyway, I'm all tuckered out from my makeover skills. I might start work on one of those TV programs where an innocent person goes in with normal clothes and comes out looking like a teletubby.

1 Minute Later

I'm all snuggled up to Dave. He is so much nicer to sleep with (leave it) than Libby. His botty is no way near as cold. Not that I have been feeling his botty. Or any other part of him for that matter. Anyway he is stroking my hair and it is vair relaxing.

Now's your chance, Gee. Tell him you have plighted your troth and chosen the Dave the Tart after all these years.

'Dave, I have something to tell you,' I whispered

'Shock me, Kittykat.'

'Dave, I think I…'

'...Should take your top off?'

'No I think... I love you…'

**Gee finally did it! It's not as simple as that though sorry. Review and I'll write more xx**


	8. Do you mean Kittychat?

1 Second later

Say something!

5 Seconds later

Say something, for the love of Slims city of chins, say something!

10 Seconds later

'Dave?' I said.

'Hmm.'

'Did you hear me?'

'I'm not sure.'

'How can you not be sure?' He's making me feel all Miz. I'vejust plighted my troth to him and he's not even bothered. Oh poo.

But then he said 'Well I think you said you love me, but that can't be right.'

'No, that is what I said.' I was grinning like a loon, even though he couldn't see me.

'Hmmm." He said it again.

'What do you mean by "hmmm"?'

'Exactly that. Hmmm.' He said cheekily.

'Oh. O.K. then.' I said, full of confusiosity. Bugger**.**

20 Seconds later

'Dave?'

'Yes, Sex kitty?' he replied, innocently.

'I'm sorry.' I feel like a right prat. I can feel myself going beetroot.

'What for Kittykat?'

'For saying…you know…' I paused.

'Nope, I'm not sure.' His eyes gleamed.

'Saying…what I just said…'

'Remind me.' Bugger Him. Making me say it again!

'Dave. You know exactly what I said.'

'Yes. That's why I need you to say it again.' He is so incredibly irritating. Grrr!

I hesitated, before saying, 'I love you Dave.' I could sense him smiling in the dark.

'Try I love you Dave you adorable, sexy, gorgeous, amazing…'

'Don't push it.'

1 Second later

I rolled over so I was facing him. He brushed my hair out of my eyes and kissed me really gently.

Is that it?! I just admitted I love him and that's it!

No lip nibbling or nothing! Just a plain old number three.

12 Seconds later

That's more like it. Dave the laugh has got to be the best snoggerer in the whole world!

5 Minutes later

'Dave and Georgia, I'm ashamed of you!' Rosie shouted, loud enough to wake the dead. I leaped off Dave like a salmon.

I stammered, 'Oh…Ermm Rosie…I can…We were just…'

Dave came to my rescue and said 'Rosie Mees! Don't give me that. I could HEAR you and Sven snogging from over here. I'm just too polite to say.'

'Oh…ermm…' We heard Rollo laugh and say, 'Tut tut.'

'Rollo! You as well. You and Jools are no better.' I could see Jools glowing red even in the dark. 'In fact I've seen all of you snogging away merrily. So can you kindly leave me and my new girlfriend alone please?' Did he just say what I think he did?!

'Girlfriend?!' Jas echoed.

'That's what I said, Jas.'

'Oh, O.K. Goodnight then.' And everyone carried on snogging.

1 Minute later

How the hell did Dave see everyone snogging? We're shoved right in the corner away from everyone else. I decided to find out.

'I couldn't, but I knew the temptation would be too much for everyone to resist.' He replied.

'Not just a pretty face, are you?' I asked.

'No, but I think it helps.'

'If you say so' and we carried on snogging.

**Tuesday 30****th**** June  
**11:21 am

We're all going out today to have a look around Paris. I've come over all French today. It's probably a mix of the French air and luuurve.

I said to Dave, '_Bonjour,_ Sex _Bombe._' Hahahahaha.

'_Ah, bonjour _Kittykat.'

I said 'Do you mean Kitty_Chat?_'

'_Naturellement._'

12:42 pm

The boys are amazed just how long it takes us girls to get ready in a morning. Dave was watching me do my makeup and it was really putting me off.

'Stop watching me, it's really annoying.'

'I'm just amazed at how much attention you pay to your eyelashes.'

'What do you mean?' Jas was paying just as much attention to hers as I was to mine.

'You have been putting that black stuff…'

'Mascara.'

'Yeah, that stuff, on for the past ten minutes. They're only eyelashes, for goodness sakes!'

'Dave. Shut up now.'

'Yes Miss.' I looked at him and saw he had eyeliner striped across his cheeks like war paint. I don't know why I bother.

1:27 pm

All ten of us are linked up skipping (yes, skipping) through Paris. The French elderly loons are grumbling and moaning but everyone else seems quite impressed.

1 Second later

That or scared.

1 Second Later

Scared, probably.

1 Second later

Ah, well. Live and let live that's what I always say.

3:19

We had such a larf today! We took loads of pictures of really stupid stuff. Like one of the boys pretending to go to the piddly diddly department up the Eiffel tower. Oh and we took one of Sven giving Rosie, me AND Jools a piggy back. One of me and a French road sign. There were loads of marvy French boys but I resisted. I have finally laid my red bottom to rest. It's been such a fabby day!

12:08

Snuggled up with Dave again. Oh, this is so nice. Me and my Dave the Tart in the cake shop of Luuurve. Not Aggers but Luuurve. Oh I do like saying that! Luuurve.

Wednesday 1st July

Dave and Rollo were up before everyone this morning. I got up and went to go and find them in the kitchen.

1 Minute later

I could hear them talking about me. _Sacre bleu! _I waited outside.

Dave said, 'I don't know mate. I fancy the pants of her.'

Rollo said, 'I'm not sure. I think she's messing you about again.'

'No. I've not seen her with any boys back in England.'

'What about Robbie? She was well flirting with him at the Dylans gig last week. You deserve better than a girl who tries to mess you about twice Dave.'

'You mean…dump her?' No don't dump me you Fule!

'Well, not yet but I'll keep my eye out.'

1 Second later

Oh my god. He thinks I'm using him as a red herring again.

**Poor Georgie! Rollo, you big stirrer! Review please. Don't kill me Dave fans. All will be well in the end. X**


	9. SDINLHTCH

**So here's the next chapter. I was quite looking forward to writing this one but I've gone blank so it's quite short. Please Review it anyway. This hasn't been beta'd yet so i hope it's not too bad...**

1 Second later

I felt a tear roll down my cheek but I wiped it away quickly. What am I crying for? It's my own fault for being such a red-bottomed minx all these years! Pull yourself together Georgia…

5 Minutes later

I went back into the bedroom really quietly. I didn't want to wake anyone up. I've got to prove to Dave that I am not using him as a decoy Duckie anymore. I call it operation Show-Dave-I-No-longer-have-the-cosmic-horn. Or SDINLHTCH for short.

10 Minutes later

Dave has just slipped back into bed as if he never went anywhere. He stood on me as he tried to climb over me but as I'm such a good girlfriend I pretended I was still asleep. He put his head close to mine and whispered 'I really love you Gee'. I smiled even though he couldn't see. And I was meant to be asleep. But let's forget these minor details.

20 Minutes later

I really need to go to the piddly-diddly department but Dave has fallen asleep on me (you know what I mean!). I must move slowly and carefully so I don't wake him. Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle…

1 Second later

Oh bugger! I shuffle, shuffle, shuffled along a bit and he wrapped his arm around me.

1 Minute later

I'm going to burst. That won't be very sexy now will it when I'm in pieces and everyone is covered in my wee?! I'll try waking him up.

1 Second later

Shakey, Shakey. Wakey, Wakey.

30 Seconds later

Sweet mother of pearl this boy sleeps like a log! Or Libby.

10 Minutes later

Finally! He woke up and said in a really cute morning ish voice 'Morning Gorgeous' Awww!

I squeaked 'Hi'

'Why are you talking like that?'

'I really, really need to go to the piddly-diddly department'

'Go then you Banana…Go forth to the wazzurium and Wazz until your hearts content.' I've never moved so fast! I came rushing through the door straight into Rollo. 'Steady on Gee. You have a boyfriend remember…' Poo! I must be more careful now operation SDINLHTCH is ago-go.

2 Minutes later

Ah much better…

10:34 am

Everyone is finally up. I decided to tell my bestest pally Jasyisimus what I heard Rollo and Dave talking about this morning. I managed to corner her whilst she was making coffee in the kitchen. She honestly thinks she is mother Theresa caring and so forth…

I said to her 'Jas I have something heartbreaking to tell you so I suggest you listen because I don't think I can muster up the energy to duff you up so early in the day.'

She said 'Go on Georgia I'm listening.' She was fiddling with her fringe but I chose to ignore that otherwise we will be here all day.

'Well you see, I was up early this morning and I heard Dave and Rollo talking about me.'

'Is that it?' She huffed.

'Let me finish! Well Rollo said to Dave he thought I was going to use him as a red-herring again and maybe it's best that he dumps me…'

'_Non_'

'_Oui_'

'So are you dumped then?' She said quite loudly.

I whispered 'Shhh! Jas keep your bloody voice down will you! No but I'm a bit worried I might be soon so I have started up operation SDINLHTCH.'

'What?' She said, still fringe fiddling.

'Jas don't start the whole what thing again. It's short for Show-Dave-I-No-Longer-Have-The-Cosmic-Horn'

'Oh ok then is that it. Only the kettles boiled' Oh for the love of all things yellow! I don't know why I bother!

12:01 pm

We're going to some parky place today, The vole-twins have managed to talk us into it. I only agreed because she said we could go shopping tomorrow if I went. Cue grumbling and moaning from the boys. We managed to talk them round with promises of snogging. I'll be snogging Dave of course, it's not like some big orgy! Oh get out of my head, get out! Rosie promised Sven something other than Snogging (Oo-er!). I'm sure she mentioned chickens…

12:49

Well isn't this a laugh a minute! The only highlight of today is Dave. Me and him are doing that two steps forwards one step back thing. We are about 5 miles back from the rest of the gang but Hey-ho!

15 Minutes later

We have stopped for a rest under a tree. I've got my legs in the sun though, they are blindingly white!

10 Minutes Later

After about ten minutes of near silence Jools piped up and said 'Phwoar look at those fitties over there!' Everyone turned round but me. Operation SDINLHTCH means I've got to keep my eyes on the prize (leave it!)

Jas said 'Look Gee, over there they are quite literally gorgeous' I carried on staring at Dave but because he was sat with his arm around me, I was staring at his ear. She carried on 'Georgia they're not in Dave's ears they are over there' She is so Dim! It's like having a lemon for a friend! I looked at her and raised my eyebrows then nodded my head in Dave's direction. She said 'Oops sorry' and carried on fiddling with her fringe.

1 Second later

That was a close one! I ran my fingers through Dave's hair and he shivered. God his hair is soft! He's the only one out of the boys apart from Sven who doesn't put two tones of gel in his hair every morning. Rosie said Sven makes his own gel out of eggs, water and a 'secret ingredient'. That can't be true.

1 Second later

Can it?

2 Seconds later

I told Dave about the Sven Gel and he said 'Yeah he does, I've seen him make it. I dread to think what his secret ingredient is, when I asked him he said "Jah, gel, poo-parlour, hahaha, Jah!" But I'm not sure weather that is a Sven-ish joke or not'

1 Second later

Hmmm…

**There you go chapter 8! I'm thinking of having my bellybutton pierced, what do you think? Does it hurt? Ah well next chapter might be a while because I'm back at school now and still haven't done my German. Anyways, Please Review! xx**


	10. Dave Owns

Thanks to ive-gone-all-jelliod and SushiBar for advice on my bellybutton

**Thanks to ****ive-gone-all-jelliod**** and ****SushiBar**** for advice on my bellybutton. I've decided to take the bull by the watsits and get it done. By the way, I think my Beta is away or something because she's still not done my last chapter. Here's the next one anyway I hope you enjoy. It will be a little bit longer than the others because now I'm back at school I can only really write on the weekends. I will try and get some done in the week though. Anyway where was I? Oh yes, on with the story…**

5 Minutes Later

Rollo is watching me like a Seeing Eye dog. He should get together with Mr. Next door. They would make a great team. I wonder if Rollo has some poodles. Oi, Brain, Shutup!

1 Second later

I snuggled in to Dave. He leaped up like a salmon. 'Sorry Dave did I scare you?' I laughed.

'I was sleeping.' He said matter of factly.

I said 'With your eyes open?'

'Yeah, it's a skill I learnt to get through Math's with Mrs. Martin. God that woman was boring.'

'Well, you're awake now'

'Yes, indeedy'

Then I said 'I've been meaning to give you this' Then I glanced at Rollo and Leaned in for a quick spot of number 6.

1 Minute later

6 ¼. Mmmm, Yummy scrumbos. Then I nuzzled his neck a bit and even did some ear snogging. Cor blimey I've not done ear snogging since back in the good old days of Robbie! Dave did the little moany thing when I did that. Everyone was laughing at him. We came up for air and Jools said 'You sounded like farm animals!'

Dave said to her 'Jools you would also sound like a farm animal if you had this Sex Kitty for a girlfriend.' And he started doing tickly bears. We didn't even do the "No You're mad." thing!

1 Second later

The only fly in the ointmosity was Rollo. He was still staring at us even though we were tickling each other to death. Does he think I have some other midget boyfriend in my pocket and I'm going to start snogging him in a minute?!

1 Minute later

Dave rolled over so that I was on the floor with my arms pinned down. He was leaning over me grinning like a fule. 'Give in now Kittykat or I may be forced to tickle you mercilessly until you explode.' He said, staring down at me. He had that naughty look in his eye that gave me the horn big style.

2 Seconds later

I can't resist. If I just lean up and snog him now… Poo. He leant back as I leant forwards. 'Give up first, then snogs' He said. Cheeky Cat!

'Ok, I give in.' I said

'How about…I give in Dave you sexy beast; I'm a slave to your snogging!' He said. I gave him that Don't-Even-Bother look. 'Gee, give up now or I'm going to tickle you.' He said and gave me his "sternest" look.

'Do I really have to say that?' Everyone was looking at us. The whole park was staring in our direction. Go away you nosey French people! Rollo's eyes were burning a hole in the side of my head he was staring that hard.

Dave said 'Georgia…' In a warning like tone.

'Alright…I give in Dave you…Sexy beast...I'm a slave to your snogging'

The ace gang cheered and Dave helped me sit up and started snogging me again. He even did this really cool thing where he did little sucky kisses on the tip of my nose. It made me go really jelloid. That has got to be 6 1/3. I bloody hope my nose doesn't swell up though! My lips I can deal with but not my nose. My snogging would be tip-top with huge lips.

1 Second Later

No actually, Mark big gob was a crap, nunga-molesting snogger! Ewww, Get out of my head Mark. There's no room for you and your huge gob in here!

15 Minutes later

Dave is so the king of snogging.

1 Second later

That makes me the queen!

1:40 pm

How the bloody hell did this happen. I've ended up getting ice-creams. (Un)Luckily for me I've got a partner in crime. No not Dave or Rosie or even Jas. No, it's Rollo.

1 Second later

Rollo. Rollo the all Seeing Eye dog. Rollo who has stared at me, even when he's snogging Jools. Rollo who has probably looked at me for so long that he knows how many nose hairs I have.

2 Minutes Later

Oh god he's talking to me. Keep calm Georgia. Don't mention Red-Herrings. Or decoy Ducks. Or the cosmic horn.

'You alright Gee? You seem a bit twitchy.' He said to me.

'No I'm ok. Just a bit worried.' No, No, No. Stoooooooooooop!

'Worried about what babe?' Babe?

'Ducks mainly' Brain to Mouth. Brain to Mouth. Shut the hell up!

He put his arm round my shoulders. What is he doing?! I'm his best mate's girlfriend! 'Georgia you're so sweet.' Ooh, I get it now. He's trying to get me to react, so that Dave will dump me. What a fabulous friend he is!

'Thanks. It's all this Cosmic change. It affects them. The ducks.' Georgia, get a grip! Remove Rollo's arm from your shoulders. Good that's better. Now keep your bloody mouth shut!

'Ermm…Ok then. You speak French don't you? I can't speak a word of it.'

'I thought your family was French?' I said.

'Hmm…Yeah. I was joking.' He said.

'Very funny' I said sarcastically 'Funny as a herring you are!' And I started laughing. Not normal laughing. No, I was doing Libby's HeggyHeggyHo laugh. Not only did I mention herrings but I'm laughing like my demonic little sister! Just Marvy!

'Come on then nutter. Let's go get some ice creams.' Phew that was a close one. I nearly said something stupid in that conversation.

1 Second Later

Oh wait. I think I might have said something slightly out of the ordinary then.

2 Seconds later

Poo burger.

2:06 pm

We're back with all 10 ice-creams. Rollo and the ice-cream place lady were laughing together. In French. No they weren't laughing in a French way you fule they were sharing a joke in French. I felt like an English Goosegog. Rollo couldn't put his arm round me or any other funny business (leave it) because he had 5 ice creams in his hands on the way home.

2 Minutes later

Oh _tres Romantico_. Me and Dave are feeding each other our ice-creams. Maybe not so romantic actually. I've got ice-cream on my chin, nose and in my hair and Dave is convinced I've blinded him. Ah well, live and let live, that's what I always say. Jas is tutting at us because 'we are soooooooooo immature and childish' Oh tut on fringey. I'm in luuurve. No matter what Rollo thinks. Dave said to Jas 'Jas I'm so not immature' She turned to look at him and he had a moustache made out of ice-cream drawn on his top lip. Oh how we laughed.

1 Second later

Me and Dave are so perfect for each other. We've been sat here for ages just talking (and snogging) and relaxing (and snogging). I couldn't have done this with Masimo or Robbie. Oh I do luuurve him.

10 Minutes Later

Rollo just can't take his eyes of me can he? Jools is getting all flustered and keeps giving me the death glare. It's not my fault!

1 Minute Later

Jools is pouting and flicking her hair at Dave. I could swear she even did sticky eyes with him! Oooh I can't believe her! I'm not flirting with her boyfriend-he's checking up on me! Dave hasn't even noticed Jools. Hahaha serves her right! I lay down with my head on Dave's lap and closed my eyes. It makes me feel sick thinking of me with Rollo; I can't believe Jools would think that of me.

37 Minutes later

I must have fallen asleep because I woke up with "Dave owns" written on my head. Hmm…I wonder who wrote that. I'm guessing Dave. Cheeky Cat.

1 Minute later

I ask a simple question to my bestest friend and she is so dim and potato like that she can't give me a simple answer. I said to her 'Did you see who wrote this on my head?' and do you now what pathetic excuse she gave me? No, you probably don't. She said to me 'Nah, sorry Gee, Tom was showing me a particularly interesting leaf at the time.' Leaf! I kid you not, a leaf. Well, next time someone writes on her head, Dave may well be showing me something.

1 Second Later

Oo-er…

2:24 pm

We all did two steps forward one step back on the way home. Rollo kept shouting stuff at the French people. He refuses to tell anyone what he was saying. I've wrote Georgia owns on Dave's head as payback. He said it tickled though when I was writing it and kept moving. It looks a bit libbyish in the handwriting department but hey-ho.

3:06 pm

It took us nearly 3 times as long to get home as it did to get there. This sent Jas straight on to number 4 on the having the humpty scale with everyone. She won't keep it up for long though, she's only talking to Tom at the minute and she'll soon get bored with Hunky's fascinating talk of Voles.

11:51 pm

Snuggly Buggly, cuddling in-ly bed-ly with Dave.

1 Second later

-ly.

5 Minutes later

Dave was talking with Rollo before. I wonder if it was about me.

1 Second later

All good I hope.

2 Seconds later

I hope Rollo didn't think I was hiding a secret affair when I talked to him before. I didn't act too strangely did I?

1 Second Later

Oh god, I'm doomed…

**Well there you go…Rollo is going to get worse before he gets better I'm afraid which is going to be a disaster Gee-Dave wise. I'm just warning you so that you won't kill me. Oh and I'm going to try and include more "fluff" in the next few chapters. Please review. You know I love you (in a non-lezzy way)…x**


	11. Jack the pile of crumbs

**Sorry if the French is crap. I only speak German so I had to use an internet translator. This hasn't been beta-ed by the way, just warning you lol. Oh, and Please Review x**

3:51 am

What the bloody Pants was that!

1 Second later

I was all cozy sleeping next to Dave when I heard this almighty crash; the sort of crash that makes your brain rattle and your ears pop.

1 Second later

Oh for the love of Libby's night time nappy it was Sven. He's fallen out of bed and landed on poor old Dec. I don't think Dec will ever walk again.

1 Minute Later

Oh my Days, Dave is still asleep! He looks so cute when he's all sleepy. Well, I thought so anyway, Dec was outraged. 'How the bloody hell did he sleep through that! One of his best friends has just nearly been crushed to smithereens and he's still out for the count!' Oh rant on Dec old pal… Rollo said 'Yeah but do you remember that time when we were banging down his door for nearly 20 minutes before his mum came home from work and let us in?'

Tom said 'Oh yeah and that time we threw that ice at him and he just rolled over?' Wowzaa!

1 Second later

The boys have decided to wake Dave up. They have made me retreat to a safe distance…I have a sneaky feeling this is going to be painful.

1 Second later

Not for me you Fule! For Jack the biscuit over there.

2 Minutes later

If he was a biscuit he would be a pretty smashed up one by now. Less biscuit more pile of crumbs. Jack the pile of Crumbs. The boys all dog piled on him.

1 Second later

Even Sven…

2 Seconds later

Well he's awake anyway! His first word on waking up was 'PAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNTSSSSSSSSS!' I went back over to our makeshift bed to try and piece him back together using my amazing snogging techniques.

10 Minutes later

We are going for a look round Paris. Yes, at 4:00 in the morning.

1 Minute later

No one wants to get dressed though so we are going in our pajamas. Jas is wearing her huffy-pants again though (i.e. she doesn't want to come). I said to her 'Come on Jas where's your sense of danger?'

'With my frogspawn.' She said

'Which is where?' God this is tiring. I deserve a medal. Or at the very least a snog. Dave just gave me a look. A guilty look. Hmmmm.

'Smeared across my pillow.' She said. I so wanted to laugh but had to turn it into a coughing spaz. Jas can be vair violent sometimes so I'm not risking it! She even flicked her fringe AND did "I told you so" sniffing. At the same time! I gave Dave a look and he gave me a cheeky smile and shrugged. It's like working with some of Libby's little Kindy friends of something! God he gives me the horn though…

3 Minutes later

Hunky has calmed Jas down. When Dave started laughing she just lashed out; hitting him with her pillow and so forth. I'm not speaking to her anymore. She's not going to beat the hell out of my Mr. Laugh and get away with it. I must get revenge…

2 Second later

We're going for a walk, bed head and all. This could be interesting.

20 Minutes later

Rollo is shouting at all the French people again. An old lady nearly tutted her wig off when she heard him shouting. He was shouting "_Mes amis et nos chiennes appriciate vous se déplaçant maintenant. Venez sur le mouvement!_"

1 Minute Later

Ooh I can't believe him! Jools made him tell us what he was saying. It was "My friends and our bitches would appriciate you moving now. Come on Move!" That I can deal with. But it was him saying "_Observez celui-là. La Géorgie aime là-bas dater les garçons multiples immédiatement, son ami vous tuera cependant, gardent vos yeux outre de ses seins énormes_." That got me wound up. Tom said it means "Watch that one. Georgia over there likes dating multiple boys at once, her boyfriend will kill you though, keep your eyes off her huge Nungas." I thought Dave would turn into the hulk or something! Dec and Tom had to hold him back. I gave him a quick spot of Number 6 and he was soon singing with us again. We were singing that well know classic 'The hills are alive with the sound of PANTS'.

6 Minutes later

I like to think the Froggy people like us singing to them at half past four in the morning.

1 Second later

That is what I like to think.

4:58 am

Well, that's a turn up for _Les livres, _as our Froggy friends say. I don't think they're our friends anymore actually. We have been stopped by the police! Apparently our singing was disturbing the local people who were trying to sleep. He carried on in his daft French accent… 'No more singing…Early morning…Chop off your fingers…Go back to sleep…' and so forth. Dave was nodding like one of those stupid nodding dogs that Vati has in the back of his clown car and humming really loudly at every other word the French plod said. Jas was all shuffly and botty-kissing. She is so ludicrously swotty!

10 Minutes Later

He's finally gone! The second he turned around we all burst out laughing. Well, I say all, I mean all but Jas. She was all red and angry. I said to her 'Jas, you were singing too!' she just gave me a 'look'. Then I remembered that I'm not talking to her after her laugh attack.

15 Minutes later

Back at the flat

Back to bed…God I'm tired! Dave carried me home because my slippers aren't the best for walking in. We came in and he dropped me on Rosie and Sven's bed. 'Blimey Gee, You're Nungas must weigh 2 ton alone! I'm tuckered out grand style.' And he pretended to faint on our bed. Sven came in and saw me lay across his bed and growled at me and said 'Oi missus!' picked me up by my feet and hung me above Dave.

I said to Sven 'Now Sven just lay me down gently and, Oww bugger it Sven!' He dropped me on my head.

'Dave said 'I'd kill him for you Sex kitty but he's huge, sorry. I can kiss it better for you though' and he snogged me. God he's such an amazing snogger!

5 Minutes later

'Thanks Dave. I feel better now.' I said. He lay down next to me and I started stroking his hair again. 'I love it when you do that Gee, its vair relaxing.'

'Dave you said "vair"…I say vair'

He said 'It seems you're rubbing off on me kittykat'

I whispered 'Oo-er'

He said 'I heard that cheeky, you're lucky I love you otherwise I might have had to tickle you again.' Awww he loves me!

'I love you too Dave'

I looked at Rollo who was staring at me and he raised his eyebrows at me. What he raising his eyebrows for?!

1 Second later

Oh my giddy god! He just winked at me!

3 Minutes later

Was it a matey wink…?

2 Seconds later

Or a 'Well hello there Sex Kitty' wink…

7 Seconds later

Oh my giddy god he winked at me. What is he winking at me for? I'll never sleep now; I mean what's he winking at me for when I'm his…ZZZzzzzzzz…

**Please Review. You know I adore you all…**


	12. I'm So MultiCultural

**I'm so busy! I've had homework from every lesson for the past week or so! (And 2 detentions already). Please forgive me if I don't update mega quickly. It's a bit of a filler chapter and not particually amazing but anyway...**

10:07 am

Ahh that's better. All refreshed and Awake.

1 Second Later

I've just remembered the Rollo winking Fandango.

1 Second later

Poo…

6 Seconds later

I wonder if I should tell Dave. I mean, he's called Dave the laugh, so maybe he will take it in a light-hearted, happy way.

1 Second later

Or not. He nearly killed Rollo before for making a comment about my nungas.

5 Minutes Later

Right. I'm going to tell Jas. And then I might tell Dave.

10 Minutes Later

I can't get Jas alone for one minute. She's practically attached to Tom.

1 Second later

I said to Jas, 'Jas, can I possibly talk to you alone for one minute?' and smiled sweetly. God, I'm good. I don't know how anyone could resist me.

Jas said, 'Stop smiling like that! And anyway, whatever you want to say to me, you can say to Tom as well.'

'Jas, please. If you loved me…' I said.

'Gee, can we hurry this up a bit. Me and Tom want to go on a ramble before we go shopping later. There is apparently a rare species of…'

'O.K, O.K, I'll tell you. Well, you see me and Dave were snogging...'

'What number?' Jas interrupted.

'Six.' Toms face was a picture of confusiosity but he carried on listening. 'And when we had finished I turned to look at Rollo and he was raising his eyebrows and then he winked! You know like a wink, wink.'

'_Non!'_

'_Mais oui! C'est Vrai. C'est _vair vair_ vrai!' _Tom looked at me and shook his head.

Tom said, 'Look Gee. It think you should tell Dave, but you know…don't worry him.' Oh, great advice, Tom. I'm going to tell my boyfriend his best friend is flirting with him, but I won't worry him. Just fabby!

2 Minutes later

O.K, here goes. There's Dave. Just go up to him Georgia and say it.

3 Seconds Later

'Dave, Hi.'

'Well, hello gorgeous. Is there something you want to tell me?'

'Ermm…' God, he's doing that psychic thing again.

'Jas said there was something urgent; spit it out Kittykat, Time waits for no pants.' Oh typical, Radio Jas told him.

'Well, you remember last night, when we were snogging and…'

'Cor blimey Kittykat, how can I forget? I remember every one of our snogs in extreme detail. It keeps me going when you're not there.' Awwwwwwww.

'Yeah well, did you notice Rollo?'

'Ermm…Rollo, I've seen him before. Is he the one with the brown eyes, dodgy hair, 5'9 ish…'

'Dave! This is serious.'

'I don't do serious, Sex Kitty. Now lets conga and you can tell me about the dodgy-haired one later.' He grabbed on to me and started conga-ing around the room.

1 Second later

On the plus, I didn't have to tell Dave his best friend is a cheeky little minx. On the down side, Jas is now giving me the evil eye for not telling Dave.

10 Minutes Later

Rosie has made a shopping list. It says:

New Beard

Eiffel Tower Snow Globe

French Lip-gloss

I said to her 'Wow, Rosie, that's some list.'

She said 'I know. I'm so multi-cultural. What with Sven and now this. I don't know how I do it.' And I don't think she was being sarcastic…

28 Minutes Later

O.k, so my plan is when we go out shopping, that's when I'll tell Dave. I'll just take the bull by the watsits (oo-er) and say it.

1 Minute Later

Oh my god. He's coming over. Say it now Georgia, say it!

'Ermm…Hi Dave…or…yeah, hi.' No not the Ellen lurgy! Not now!!

'Gee? Have you eaten Ellen? Spit her out, now Georgia!' He smiled at me. Help! I'm Meltinggggg...

'Ermm…Well you see…you know…and…ermm.' I stammered.

'No, actually I don't see because you're not making any sense. Both you and Rollo have been acting strangely today, now come here gorgeous, this might help your stuttering problem.' He pulled me in for an out of this world snog.

1 Second later

Actually, it was in this world, otherwise would be up in the stars.

1 Second later

Snogging to the stars.

1 Second later

And Back…

3 Seconds later

Shut up brain. I don't need your opinion.

10 Minutes Later

Phwoar! Dave the Laugh has got to be the tippiest, toppiest snogger ever!

1 Minute Later

Rollo patted Dave on the back as we walked out of the bedroom. What is that strange young boy playing at?!

5 Minutes Later

Rollo cornered me, in the bedroom when I went to find my bag. He said 'Georgia, I know you saw me wink at you last night, why are you ignoring me? If you're worried about Dave, that's fine, but I know you like me.' Oh, buggeration!

**Ok VERY Short, I know but it was a good place to end. Please Review…x**


	13. Rollo Rhubarb Pie

**Thansk for all your Reviews. I'm Feeling a luttle bit better now i'm drugged up to the max !! This hasn't been beta-ed yet so forgive me if its terrible lol...**

1 Second Later

Say Something Georgia! Tell him he's wrong.

'Rollo, Dave is my one and only…Dave the Tart for me thanks. No Rollo Rhubarb pie! I've plighted my troth and Dave is my one and only and only one.' I rambled on. I should ask Jas for her rambler's badge, just to borrow it; it might make me…Shutup Brain! I tried pushing past him but he grabbed my arm so that I couldn't go anywhere.

He said, calmly 'Georgia, you're being silly, me and Dave have been talking and even he said it was plain as anything to see that you like me.' Did he really say that? Does my red bottom show, without me even knowing it?

2 Seconds later

I don't even like Rollo in that way.

27 Seconds later

He's my best friends' boyfriend and I'm his best friends' boyfriend.

4 Seconds later

I mean I'm his best friends' Girlfriend.

41 Seconds later

Maybe I'm not his girlfriend any more. Unless he's dumped me…Oh god, what if he dumps me because he thinks I rate Rollo!

2 Seconds later

I've just realized it's been about 6 years since Rollo finished talking. I need to say something.

'Rollo…' He put his finger over my lips, so I shut up. He kissed me. Just a number 3, but he still kissed me. Then he let go of my arm (yeah, he'd had hold of me all that time) and walked out. Cool as a cucumber.

5 Seconds later

I can't believe Dave thinks that. I love him. Really love him and he doesn't even like me enough to realize it. He's a liar. He told me he loved me, but how can you love someone when you don't trust them. I didn't know it was possible to be this full of confusiosity…

1 Minute later

Grabbed my bag. Stupid bag, I wouldn't have gotten into all this mess if I hadn't have had to get it.

1 Seconds later

I threw my bag at the wall and my lip gloss tube popped in my bag. This is so not my day…

1 Minute later

I walked into the kitchen and everyone went silent and stared at me. What are you staring at you loons! They can't tell can they? Has he said something? Stupid Rollo and his Stupid number 3. Stupid, Stupid Stupid!!

1 Second Later

Dave looked at me and grinned. Ok, that's a good sign, that means Rollo hasn't said anything.

'Kittykat, what's that on your skirt?' Dave said, with a cheeky smirk.

'Oh bugger! It's my lip gloss; it exploded when I threw my bag at the wall'

'Of course it did. You might have to take your skirt off Gee…' He said and winked. What is it with everyone recently, is there a dreaded twitchy eye lurgy? Twitchyeyeititus… First Rollo, now Dave! Not that I mind Dave winking, it just reeks of naughtyosity…

30 Seconds Later

Changing my skirt

Hmm…I might have to change my top now as well; I mean I can't wear a yellow top and a pink skirt! Right, so pink skirt and… 'OH MY GOD DAVE, GET OUT!!'

'Chill out kittykat, I'm not looking. My eyes are closed, I promise. Can I not have a peek though?'

'No! Cheeky Cat, Now get out before I chuck you out'

'Is that a promise or a threat?'

'A promise, now out!'

'No, I quite fancy the idea of you chucking me out when you're only wearing your underwear…'

'DAVE!!'

'Alright, steady on, I need full use of these beautiful ears of mine.' And he opened one of his eyes, just a little but I saw him.

'DAVID KING, GET THOSE EYES CLOSED…NOW!!'

'Gee, Deep breaths.'

'I'll give you deep breaths in a minute. Now get out!'

'Ok, I'm gone, but can I open my eyes so I can see where the door is. I don't want to injure my lovely head, my snogging would be impaired.' I grabbed a towel of the bed and covered myself up, I may love him, but he's not seeing me in my underwear.

1 Second later

Yet…

1 Second later

'Right, mister you can open your eyes, but I suggest you disappear, sharpish!'

2 Minutes Later

Right, ready as a…squirrel. I've never seen an unready squirrel, not ready to go squirrel shopping.

1 Second Later

Not shopping for squirrels, shopping with squirrels, there squirrel friends and there squirrel money and…

1 Second Later

Anyway, I'm ready and that's the short and short of it.

1 Minute Later

God, I hate it when everyone stares at you. I feel like _une prat_. Jas is hardly best friend and confidence booster of the century though. When I went in she said 'About bloody time! We have been waiting for ages for you to finish; I mean what sort of daft fule spills lip gloss down them. What sort of immature, silly, Childish…' I cut her off before I was forced to take violent action. 'Alright Jas, we get it. Just because you swallowed the dictionary doesn't mean we all want to hear it.' Haha, I am a comedy genius! Everyone was laughing, apart from Jas; she went all pinky, whitey etc and huffed off leaving hunky to sort her out. Good luck to the poor sap!

5 Minutes later

Christ on a bike! Finally out in to the open air. I took a deep breath in as we got outside and nearly choked to death, some stupid French Fly had flown into my mouth. Dave being the ever loving boyfriend rushed over and patted me on the back, when I'd finally finished coughing and spluttering I said 'Stupid...gasp…Fly, Nearly…gasp…Died, Going to…Gasp…Sue!'

Dave just laughed and said 'Oh kittykat, your great value, when I become a multi squillioneare comedian I will get you on my show and get you to choke on some flies or spill some lip gloss down your skirt or something.' I nearly got into my hufty pants with him but he would have only laughed and snogged me anyway so there was not a lot of point. Especially as we were whizzing up the snogging scale before I even had chance to defend myself! What if I had a mint or some leftover fly in my mouth, then we would have well and truly been up Shee Cree without a padd! He doesn't seem to mind that I like Rollo.

1 Second Later

Not that I do, it's just he thinks I do. Oh you know what I mean!

1 Minute Later

What's Rollo doing? He's talking to Jools and…she just slapped him! Oh blimey, I smell trouble…


	14. I AM The Whore Of Babylon!

1 Second Later

**Don't kill me Dave Fans…I would never do anything bad to him, you know that…**

1 Second Later

Jools ran right past me and collapsed into Jas' arms blubbing like billio. Please Baby Jesus; please say this has nothing to do with me…

2 Seconds Later

Dave said to me 'I'd better go pick up the pieces over there, I will update you in a minute oh sexy one…' and he winked and walked off, over to Rollo. I feel like a right ol' Goosegog stood on my own.

30 Seconds later

Oh blimey oh Reilly's matching pant and bra set. Jas is giving me 'the look'. It's all my fault! Do something Georgia. Go over to Jools and…In fact don't, she might know karate and chop me into mincemeat.

1 Minute Later

I tried edging over towards Jas and Jools so I could hear properly.

2 Seconds

Rosie was saying 'I don't think so Jools, No…Come on. Stop crying now, calm down. Do you want to wear the beard, it's in here somewhere.' And she started rooting through her bag.

Jas Said 'I don't think that's necessary Rosie. Now come no Jools, I know she has a history, but you're one of her best friends…' Oh Giddy God. It is me!!

1 Minute Later

Still stood on my own.

Why do I have the urge to start singing the hills are alive with the sound of PANTS?! This is not the time or place brain, now pants yourself.

1 Second later

Brain! I mean behave yourself. You're on your final pants.

1 Second later

Warning! Not pants, warning! Oh crikey, I'm still all aloney on my owney and everyone is still talking about me.

2 Seconds later

This is all Rollo's fault. Telling Jools. I've had loads of accidental snogs whilst I was going out with Robbie and Masimo, mainly with Dave, but I never told them…Jools will think I'm the whore of Babylon!

1 Second Later

I AM the Whore of Babylon….Oh Brillopads!

2 Minutes later

Dave is coming back over, and it is a Dave the unlaugh moment I can tell…

'Gee…Is it true?' Oh poo, it's worse than I thought.

'Nnungh…' I stuttered

Dave went straight into rant mode. 'Georgia, he's my best mate, and Jools is your best mate! I can't believe you I really can't. I mean its one thing to use a guy once, but twice! I thought you were the love of my life, I really did, but this just shows me you're a heartless user who happens to have it in for me grand style!' He was all red, and it looked really funny but I had a lump the size of a herd of cows stuck in my throat and could only manage to croak out 'Dave…I'm Sorry'

'SORRY!! Sorry just doesn't cut it this time Georgia; this is low even for you!' We both had tears running down our faces now.

I tried calming him down 'Rollo said that you'd talked about me and him, I don't even like him. Dave it's you I like, not him. I Love you Dave…'

'I've not spoken to Rollo about you and him, only about you and me! And even if we had have talked, it wouldn't have changed the fact that you have been kissing right under my nose for the past year!' Year?! Me and Rollo only kissed the once…

'We, what…It's…No!' Oh fab, I can't even talk now! Ooh I hate Rollo so much right now! Dave stormed off even though he probably hasn't got a clue where he's going.

2 seconds later

I need to follow him. Go Georgia Go! Use your skills of the horn to sniff him out! This can't be to hard now can it? He has about as much clue as me as to where he is going…

10 Minutes later

Oww Stupid shoes, stupid crippley things. There is no blood getting to my feet, which might make my legs swell up with all the extra blood, then my legs would explode, then I'd never find Dave. I'll take the shoes off, yeah good, right shoes off. Now back to looking for Dave…

5 Minutes later

Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! I stood on some flipping Glass! Stupid, Stupid, Stupid! My foot looks like a fountain or something! Blood everywhere! Ugh, I feel sick. I need help. I'll shout for Dave, hopefully he can sense my pain…

'Dave! Dave! Dave, I'm hurt! I'm sorry…'

'Georgia?! What's wrong, oh my god what happened!' It wasn't Dave, it was Po.

'Jas Help, I've cut my feet and I can't find Dave and…We need to look for Dave!'

She tried calming me down 'Georgia, we need to get you back home, we'll bandage up your feet and then we'll look for Dave. I promise.' Oh god, she'll use her rambler first aid course and then we'll get the story on how her and Tom found some Leaves or something; I'd rather bleed to death! She shouted Rosie over 'Rosie, can Sven carry Gee home she's cut her feet.'

Rosie said 'Yes of course my little chicken, Sven, Sven…'

Rollo interrupted 'I'll carry her…' and he started walking over. Noooooo! It's his fault in the first place, if Dave hadn't have ran off, then I wouldn't have had to look for him, and I wouldn't have had to take my shoes off, and I wouldn't have cut my feet! There's only one thing for it…Have a spaz attack 'Get him away from me…Jas, don't let him come near me…' and I started kicking and screaming for Merrie England. Hmm, not my best idea, the kicking made my foot bleed more…

'Jah, Georgia Chicken?' Oh good, Sven! That's the first time I've ever been so bloody pleased to hear his voice!

Sven picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. First Class Travel!

10 Minutes Later

Jas is bandaging me up. It hurts vair muchly but as I'm such a little solider I kept stumm. Oh, don't be dim, it means silent in…some language. Actually I didn't keep strictly Stumm I was crying like billio but I think that was down to my broken heart. Jas got into her bossy pants and told everyone to go look for Dave whilst she bandaged me up. No you complete fules, she wasn't being nice, she wanted to hear my side of the story for Radio Jas airways.

She said 'So gee, I know you're upset, but what happened?'

I was still blubbing but I rambled on anyway… 'I was getting my bag and Rollo came in and he said Dave said that I like Rollo and he could tell but I don't and then Rollo number 3'd me and then I broke my bag and then Dave walked in when I was getting changed and we were friends and then Jools slapped Rollo and then Dave called me a user and heartless and I said sorry and he stormed off and…'

And do you know what Jas' Best bud, comforting answer was? 'Crikey…'

**Short Chappie but the next one will be long and probably even fuller of Aggers than this one!! Please Review….Emily xxx**


	15. Your wish is my command Hopalong

1 hour later (ish)

**Big thumbs up to Wombat Power for my 100****th**** Review!! Thanks to everyone else who reviewed too, I love you all…and it's bordering on lezzy now…Anyway Please keep reviewing… Oh and for those of you that read Mel217's story 'The way of the Viking', the Ending is Immense…If you don't read it, why not!! It's Fabnosity Personified. Yeah, so on with my story…**

1 hour later (ish)

Awww, she may be one of the most annoying, fringey people to walk the planet but she is a good pally sometimes. She got a box of tissues and is mopping me up and listening to me make no sense whatsoever. I must tell her I appreciate her rare efforts.

'Jas…Thanks…I really love you, you know…' and I started blubbing again

'Oh gee, come on…' and she pulled my head on to her shoulder, but I slipped and ended up with my head on her nunga…I leapt back like a salmon and hit my head on the wall, it didn't even hurt but I started crying more, just because this is not my day…

20 Minutes later

I wonder where the others have gone, I heard Sven Yodeling about half an hour ago, but I've not heard them or anything since then.

As some great bloke said, when in doubt, ask the fringey one! 'Jas, Dave is coming back, isn't he?'

She started fiddling with her fringe, but I resisted slapping her with a particularly heavy pillow and waited for her (probably very wise) answer…

1 Second later

Come on Jasyisimus, give me the good news!

'Well, Gee…He seemed pretty upset…and…umm, I don't know Georgia, I don't know…' Of flippety flip flop! I needed a good answer, not the key to the sobbing suite again! Can you die of too much Aggers? If you can I think I'm doomed…

2 Minutes later

I'm going to make a plea to Baby Jesus.

Dear Baby.J,

I know I'm not the best little Christian, (but if you are still holding the pensioner inferno against me, that's just not fair…It's been years!) but anyway if you bring my Dave the Laugh back to me I will…I'll go rambling with the vole twins, you know to appreciate your amazing nature (yeah so that was Big.G but I know you probably helped) and all that Jazz. Please, Thank you and Sorry. Georgia.

About 6 Years Later

Doorbell!!

1 Second Later

I got up so fast I knocked the table over but then fell straight back over like some sort of stupid domino thingy because of my foot. My heart's beating so fast I could swear it's going to rip a whole in my t-shirt; that would just set the whole day off!

2 Minutes later

Good Grief. Jas nearly ripped the door of its hinges, which Sven saw as some sort of invite to start yodeling, and then he picked up Jas and Rosie and started dancing the funky chicken with them over his shoulder. In sheer desperados I asked Jools if they'd found him.

1 Minute later

The nub and Gist of her shouting and screaming was that I don't care really, and wouldn't I rather know where someone else's boyfriend was so I could ruin there relationship. Odds bodkins, why doesn't she just rip my heart out completely and dance the Viking disco inferno all over it, then, when she's done she can stick her horn in it (leave it).

5 Minutes later

Baby.J didn't really come up Trumps with the Bringing Daveo Back to me thing, so I'll ask Buddha, only I think I'll offer to learn Buddahnese if he brings him back. To be honest if Buddha Can't deliver on this one I may loose all hope in religion, but not yet; if Dave comes back within the next hour or so I'll become an official Buddhist.

10 Minutes later

The Minutes are like little Snaily Minutes; each one seems about 2 hours long! No one is talking to me…My New Address…Georgia Nicholson

Lonely House

Lonely Lane

Lonelyshire

Lonelyland

12:23 pm

Everyone has gone to bed, but I'm staying here, what if he comes in in the night, he hasn't got a key, I don't want him to go away again.

2 Seconds Later

And anyway, I don't want to go to sleep in there with 8 people who hate me. Well, 7 if you're not including Jas, but I think she is secretly in her hufty pants with me too.

1 Second later

8 People who hate me and no Dave to make me feel better. I thought he was Dave the laugh! Not Dave the sad and lonely and angry and…

2 Seconds later

Blimey it's cold; I've got goose bumps on my goose bumps. Just to add to the funosity of all this, I've not taken my make up off so I'm going to get a herd of lurkers the size of Canada all over my face. I wonder if there's another girl, in a strange country (that eats frogs legs), whose boyfriend has ran away and has lots of lurking lurkers…If there is she's probably not got a hole, like a big hole in big hole land, going for a big hole holiday for a…Anyway this poor sap probably hasn't got a hole in there foot and that's the short and short of it.

10 Minutes later

I wonder if I just sneak into the bedroom whether I could grab my duvet. Otherwise I might die of that thing where you get really cold and die. You know the one…Oh anyway, I think if I sneak…

1 Minute Later

Sneaking to the bedroom

It's really hard to sneak with a limp, every other step is hard enough to go through the floorboards and I met the people downstairs yesterday, they are fairly scary bananas!

1 Second later

Limp, stomp, limp stomp…

2 Seconds later

Oh bugger I've just bumped into someone. 'Oi, you fule, stop feeling me up…You know I love it!' It was Rosie; she must have been going to the piddly-diddly department. 'What's the matter Geegee? Are you coming into the bedroom?' She said.

'No, it's bloody nippy-noodles. I was going to get my duvet and come back to sleep on the sofa.'

'Ermm, Gee, this might sound strange…But why? It's warmer in the bedroom 'coz we're all squashed in like sardines, body heat and all that Jazz…'

'No, Dave doesn't have keys and I don't want him to go away again if no one hears the door in the middle of the night.'

'Do you want me to sleep with you?'

'Oo-er'

'Gee! You're getting as bad as me, come on I'll go get Sven.'

'No, just you, not Sven…'

'Can I get the beard then?'

'Yeah and a duvet please Roro'

'Your wish is my command Hopalong.' Hopalong?! Charming!!

**Awww Poor Gee, Dave's still not shown up...Please Review xx**


	16. A touch of the Mystic Meg

Right opinion time…I've got a poll on my bio, so please vote or I may be forced to barbeque you and then feed you to my cat…

**Sooooooooooooo Sorry for making you all wait so long. I will try and update sooner but things are pretty mad at the moment, my dog is starting Chemo soon so I'm a bit messed up, please review, it will really cheer me up… My friend Jess and I are starting a Jas' Diary soon called "Stop in the name of owls." So I will have to get my act together and sort that out as well…Crikey…Anyway, please review.**

1:04 am

Roro is having a good Ol' chat about utter bollocks with me, to try and take my mind of the Dave fandango.

She said 'I might get a piercing while we're here, what do you think?'

I said 'Whereabouts though? You not going to get something daft like your left little toe done or something are you?'

'I was going to say my nose or something but that sounds quite cool…' I like to think she's joking…

'What about a matching piercing, for you and Sven…' I surprise myself with my clevernosity sometimes.

'Oh, Sven's got a piercing…' She said matter of factly.

'I've never seen it, where is it?' and Rosie just winked.

1 Second later

I said 'Is it…' she nodded and we both started laughing like drains.

1 Second later

If Rosie knows where it is then…Uurgh, Gross! It's Nordyporn again!!

2 Seconds later

I'm like a Jumpy thing on jumpy tablets waiting for Dave. I'm scared that I won't hear him; because maybe he's had his fingers gnawed off by an angry vole and can't press the doorbell.

1 Second Later

Yes, that could happen don't be so picky.

2 Minutes later

What if he's not come back yet because something's happened to him!! I must talk to the Viking bride; she will surely have some wise words to comfort me…

1 Second later

'Rosie, is the pipe really necessary?' I whined

'Well Georgia, do you want to know the answer to all your problems, past, present and future?' What in the name of Branston baked beans is she on about?!

'Rosie, what the hell are you raving on about?'

'I've recently discovered that I have a touch of the mystic Meg about me, Dave will be back in around 30 seconds.' Even though I know she was talking utter poppycock, balderdash and whoopsie I started counting in my head, 1 Elephant, 2 elephants…

1 Elephant later

No, I'm not actually counting Elephants you Dim little creature, it's a way to count seconds accurately.

30 Elephants later

I knew she was lying. Stupid Rosie.

1 Second later

No, I don't mean that, I love her (in a strictly non-lezzy way you Minxes) it's just the Sven-ness rubbing off on her. He's making her as mad as him.

10 minutes later

I hate playing Slaps with Rosie, You know that game where you put you hands out and you have to move them before the other person can slap your hand? No, well Google it, I'm far too full of heart-breaknosity to explain right now. Anyway Rosie gets a bit giddy and really goes for it, I have bright red hands now, and I look like…a very red handed thing. I'm only playing it to keep us both awake.

2 Minutes later

'Hello, 'Tis me, don't all rush at once…' DAVE!!!!!!!! I hobbled to the door and nearly ripped it of its hinges, Dave was stood there in the same clothes he ran away in looking all guilty. Good, serves him right for running away and making me feel all bad.

1 Second Later

I don't mean that.

1 Second later

Dave looked up at me and smiled. 'Jeez Gee, I leave you for 10 minutes and look what happens!' And he pointed to my foot which was still in bandages. I had tears running down my cheek now, stupid eyes, I don't want to cry. I'm too happy to cry. Dave is safe for crying out loud! He wiped the tears away and mumbled 'Sorry Gee, I over reacted, do you forgive me?' I wanted to say something along the lines of "of course I forgive you you utter Fule!! I love you too much, now nip libble me you Sexy hunk!!" but I couldn't get my voice to work, that and he stunk and I'd rather not get too close.

1 Second later

'I need a shower I think…' Dave said, sniffing in then wrinkling his nose.

'Hmm, yeah, I think you do actually…'

'Charming!! So would you if you'd slept on a park bench for 3 days, I'll go now actually, is there anything for me to eat? I'm flipping starving, why are you and Rosie in here anyway, you are strange sometimes Gee, I think I'll grab some fresh clothes too…' Cor Blimey Oh Reilly, that boy can ramble.

I shut him up by saying 'Dave, Go get in the shower, I'm all full of tirednosity and…Whoa Careful!!' he picked me up like a fireman; he is surprisingly strong for someone who has not eaten an awful lot in 3 days. 'Dave, Shhh, everyone is asleep.'

He said 'Kittykat, I'm not the one being loud, I've not been rambling on about a whole load of nothing for the past 10 minutes…' Oh he is so irritating!

'Dave, put me down and go have a shower, you really stink, and I mean that in a loving way of course.' He put me down really quickly.

'I'm glad you said that, your quite heavy, your Nungas alone must way 2 stone' he said and smiled at me like he'd done nothing wrong. I'm on the verge of a ditherspaz so I hope for the sake of all his camels he goes for a shower soon.

1 Second later

Don't ask what I'm on about, I'll be the last to know. I think I'm feverish with Luuurve. I can't believe he's back; I was starting to think he was trapped under the Eiffel tower or something.

1 Second later

This is Dave we're talking about, it could happen.

2 Seconds later

I've got so much happy energy; I think I should Disco Inferno it off. Just a quick quiet one, Stamp, Stamp, kick, kick and Hooooorn.

1 Minute Later

Dave came in mid Mini-Inferno and thought I was having a fit.

I said 'I was dancing, the Viking disco inferno actually, only smaller.'

'Ah good, I thought you were only I had to check, it was the holding on to the sofa that did it, I thought you were going mad.'

'I've hurt my foot, I can't balance whilst I'm kicking and stamping'

'Georgia, you may be quite possibly THE strangest person I've met, but I do love you…' and he snogged me, number 6!! Cor blimey, I didn't notice my snogging withdrawal through all the heartbreak but…Phwoar!!

'I've missed you Gee'

'Nnungh…'Ah good, I've gone jelloid; everything must be nearly back to normal. I wonder what Dave thinks about while we snog? Maybe he thinks about world peace, and the starving and the needy.

1 Second later

Or maybe he thinks about Nungas…

2 Seconds later

What utter Fule is coughing!! This is no time for a coughing spaz; me and my love are united again.

½ a Second later

Yeah, that was cheesy, me and my love are united again: what a load of Drivel, it sounds like something Jas'n'Tom would say!!

1 Second later

Oh god, it was Rollo coughing, please Lord Sandra, Big.G, Buddha, whoever is listening, please say this doesn't end in fistcuffs…

1 Second later

Yeah, right…

**I hope it was worth the wait…**


	17. Authors Note Goodbye Loons!

**Why Hello! Long time, no speak.**

**Now, I've been debating this all weekend.**

**I'm sure 99% of you saw the notice Trampy Mouse (I Love you Trampy, I'm going to miss you stories!) posted. She told you what she had planned and why she stopped, _non?_**

**Well, because I love you all so much, I thought I'd better post something along the same lines.**

**First off, I stopped because I'm mega busy. I am still writing G.N, only it's a joint Story with Laughkittykatforever. We Rock, read it now, though we're on hiatus until the summer holidays, bear with us lol. But I'm also Beta-ing for 50 million people, and I've got 3 Twilight Fics on the go. Ergo, I'm fairly busy. **

**Now, I am still obsessed with Gee Nicks. Seriously, I Can't Wait for the last book, and I'm desperate to see if she gets with Dave. And (I'm not confirming this, it all depends) I might write a Book Review or a One Shot or something relating to the new book.**

**How this story was going to end...**

**Well, unlike most of you, I never plan my endings. I just write what I feel like writing and hope it all adds up and makes sense. But, I have a rough idea of how it would have ended.**

**So, Rollo and Dave would have had a huge Fisticuffs at dawn fandango, in which Rollo gets quite badly hurt after banging his head on Sven's metal shorts, and knocks himself out. Dave takes him to the hospital and says sorry and they make friends and all that Jazz. A Nurse tries to flirt with Dave, but walks away upon smelling him (just thought I'd through that in for a bit of funosity). They enjoy the rest of their holiday, and Rosie and Sven have matching tattoo's instead of piercings; said tattoos are on their bottoms and say Nordy-Luuurve and a love heart (just because I can).**

**Then I'm thinking there would have been a sequel, with lots of angst, and them fighting over something pathetic. They would get back together AGAIN and there would be a ton of fluff to end it with.**

**Sorry if I've disappointed anyone. I Love you all, you've been fabulous, and hopefully I'll see you after the new book comes out!**

**Emily**

**xxx**


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